|Classic example of ageless beauty,|
But, like you I bet, I'm heading into the future geared up with an arsenal of products, interventions and bifocals! I'm not taking this lying down, but it is dagum ridiculous the stuff we have to go through just to keep up! So seeing as we're all in this boat together, I wanna share my routine here, just so ya know, it ain't just you. And if you're not there yet, go take some pictures of you
I have a whole arsenal of products to keep my skin from resembling a shedding desert reptile. I did my own research a couple of years ago. I watched a program on public tv one night and decided I needed to get with the program or I'd wake up looking like Betty Davis before I knew it. I got online and researched what everything was, from Coenzyme Q-10 to Vitamin B-3, what they were, what they did, what proportions were needed, what products to find them in and how to make them all work for me. I did the same with my vitamins. I found that there's not a simple "take this pill" fix, so I am forever tweaking my routine, and I fall off the wagon more than I don't. I will tell you that anything by Olay is one of your best bets in skin care for the money.
And that if you still have good hair, enjoy it! Because mine is held together by my awesome hair stylist who I only see twice a year because he likes to get paid, so when I see him this April 13th *I won't miss because he is always booked for three months* I will make the most of it. Grey hairs may be able to be covered up with a hundred dollar foil job, but it still acts like grey hair and wants to dance on top of the rest of your hair and mock you and have a mind of its own and never be still without endless more products you never thought you'd use!
All this means that I am forever applying something to my body and I am always looking for my products on sale because they ain't cheap, and the six pack wants things like bread and milk and Nintendo games. And I am addicted to chapstick. I have a whole slew of lipcare nonsense within armshot at any given time.
I'll take the regular chapstick when nothing else is around. It's kinda like eating generic corn flakes. It gets the job done but it's not the same! I like the medicated Blistex because it feels like it's actually doing something for you and not just sitting there like it's black and white friend. The flavored crap is at the bottom of my list and only used when I can't find my other ten hundred tubes, because Baby-Screams-A-Lot enjoys taking the tops off my chapstick and leaving the tube to get all nasty and gross with pieces of trash and garbage to collect in it. And the flavored stuff is only around because my crew use it, and I hate it. Carmex in the jar is for emergency use only because it's rather greasy but it takes care of business. Now, the Blistex Deep Renewal is the bomb! I found it when I was doing my research because it actually has stuff you need in it, but also, it feels like heaven on your lips! It's the last thing I do before I go to bed. I live the life you only dream of, right?
I don't think you will find a more passionate blog post about chapstick...aren't you glad you came by today? Moving on!
I have to take vitamins at different times of the day because of how they work together. This doesn't always work out because I also have a bunch of kids, baby farm animals living in my house, a neighborhood of stray dogs lined up at my back door to trip over, three gardens of vegetables to plant and keep up with, a chicken yard of manic chickens that untie your shoes every time you gather eggs, and I have ten hundred loads of laundry and dishes to do. Everyday.
I'm a little distracted.
But I found out since I'm a short and stumpy white girl, I need a little more of this and a little less of that, and apparently my bones will snap in two in a few years, and a multi-vitamin is a joke and will never keep me going. But I do take one everyday. Along with a baby aspirin. And extra calcuim. And more magnesium. And a vitamin D supplement. And fish oil. Am I leaving anything out?
When I was young and didn't appreciate what I had, I was one of those snitches who could eat anything I wanted and never gain a pound. That all came crashing down about seven years ago. And when you're only about five feet tall, a few pounds gained will change your dress size. And make you reach for more wine, which will also change your dress size -damn it all! So I have to change how I look at food and I have to move my body in some way to exercise and I am supposed to be using weights because I'm told petite folks break when they're older if they don't tend to their bones. And it is all very exhausting.
So we do all this, and still...we get dressed and can't seem to make it work sometimes. My idea of getting ready to go out in the world involves an infrastructure any engineer would be impressed with. After having my triplets I kissed my flat stomach goodbye, coupled with the fact that all seven of my kids came out pop-up toaster style and after awhile the doc considered just putting a zipper there. I have to hide this with my Spanx
Raise your hands if you've had a c-section.
Or nursed a litter of kids.
Raise your hands if you remember wearing swimsuits.
I have to wear one in a few months...in public...and I'm sweating a little.
But as we deal with Mother Nature and all her snitchiness, we also have to remember what we've accomplished with these ragged, stove up, mommy-bodies and know that each c-section scar means you have a baby (or three) to hold and love. Each wrinkle is another year you've lived your life and loved and made memories. Each grey hair means you've lived long enough to actually use the wisdom you've gained, which is a peace in itself.
So keep fighting the battle of wrinkles and pounds, but keep the big picture in mind too, that none of it matters if you aren't living the life you want that brings you joy. And really, all this body image stuff is really nonsense. Because the people who love you will never say that you look great....considering...